We considered a dress code. We considered "cocktail attire" and "garden formal" and "summer elegant." We considered asking people to wear a specific colour. We considered saying "wear something you'd wear to your own birthday party."
We ended up saying: come as you are. Wear what feels like you.
Why no dress code
Two reasons. One: the people we want at this wedding are the kind of people who have a strong sense of what they want to wear. Telling them "cocktail" would either bore them or create anxiety. Both are bad outcomes for a celebration.
Two: we want to see our friends as they are. Not as we asked them to be. The wedding isn't a stage; it's a long table with too much food.
A friend told us this: "the best weddings look like the people in them, not like Pinterest." We agreed, and we stopped talking about dress codes.
What we will say, when asked
If you really want a hint: think summer evening, in a barn, with fairy lights and dirt on the floor. Wear shoes you can stand on grass in, or dance on a wooden floor in. Wear something that lets you hug someone for a long time without feeling like you're in a costume.
Practical things, since you asked
Do wear
Please don't
If you still want a hint of structure
A colour palette, if you want one, is: cream, sage, soft gold, faded blue, anything that looks like it grew somewhere. But this is a suggestion, not a rule. We're not going to be checking.
Mostly, we just want you there. Wear whatever makes you feel like celebrating.